Eileen's Profile Page

Biography

I am a nurse. You would think I knew better. I think I was scared and in quite a bit of denial. I have been a nurse for a long time and have worked in critical care and lets just say..knew enough to be dangerous to myself.
A lymph node became inflammed on my neck and I recognized it when I could see it in the mirror. There it was. I am good at taking care of others, but, not myself. I also have the philosophy that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it and a general mistrust for medicine and fears of finding out too much.
The unit where I worked was next door to the infusion room and there was a very smart nurse there that took one look at my neck, felt the node, looked at me and said..you need to get it checked..now..anyone else would have said that and I would have probably ignored it, but, it was the way she looked into my eyes when she said it and the fact that she had lung cancer..that I took her seriously and made an appointment to see my doctor.
When I saw my doctor, she referred me right to an ent doctor. When I met her, she told me it could be one of 32 different things, and I was happy..deep down knowing it was just that one thing. We got a CT and there it was ..big as a golf ball..and then she told me..it was now one of 2 things…and we were to take it out and find out..
This is when it starts to become sureal for me..surgery went off without a hitch..you can’t even see the scar..she was wonderful. Had to wait a whole week to find out the pathology which was taking and eternity to get finalized..Lymphoma..okay..now the rug was pulled out from under my feet, the world turned upside down and I got dizzy..shock I think..
Drove home, told my husband, had a glass of wine, listening to John Prine on the stereo, and then wham..my first panic attack..couldn’t breath..uncontrollable heaving crying..went on for what seemed an eternity..I don’t listen to John Prine right now…
Met with my oncologist..first words-We will cure you! Great..still in shock..happy my husband was there because I didn’t hear a word after that. The first diagnosis was follicular lymphoma..didn’t need a port and treatment wasn’t going to be very brutal..treanda and rituxan. No problem..still in shock..needed a bonemarrow biopsy..think I was more fearful of that than the cancer..and a petscan for staging..shock..if they asked me for a million dollars that day, I would have signed the check..I heard very little..I am a nurse, but, for my mental survival, chose to know very little about the drugs and the disease..needed to stay sane..trusted my doctor…he is known for his care and cure..good.
Tests done..my body was stubborn..didn’t want to give up the marrow..got stuck 3 times..no sweat..didn’t feel it..my husband almost passed out watching though..he is so brave..braver than me..
First round of chemo..no problem..found a box of zofran on the doorstep after..I guess they thought I was going to be nauseated..no one told me..when it is happening to you..I don’t care who you are and what you know..when you become a patient it is a whole different deal..they sent like a million of these things..
Well..switch in diagnosis..switch in plan..I have both bcell and follicular lymphoma..lucky me..and now need port, and echo and chop-r and and expensive antiemetic..no problem..all went without a hitch with the help of xanax..and my chemo nurse Mary..who has become a good friend of mine. She has lung cancer. She is a mother, wife and friend. Awesome person..she helped me get through and to treatment. God sent her to me.
Finished treatment..a couple of scarey infections and some hang ups…now depressed when I should be greatful and confused..with chemo brain and feeling different than I have before. Saw pictures of myself before chemo and it was like looking at someone I didn’t recognize. My hair is short and wavy..black..more salt than pepper and I love it..2 minutes in the shower..more sleep time before work.
I am lucky. I see people in worse situations than myself and feel fortunate. I have 2 years of rituxan and scans and a colonoscopy..to look forward to..I guess when all of that is over I can begin to feel better..trying to learn to live with it..my new life.

Cancer Symptoms

Fatigue, shortness of breath, abdominal pain and fullness.

Surgery Description, Dates & Side Effects

Lymph node removal right neck. Smooth surgery. No problems. 5/2011

Chemotherapy Description, Dates & Side Effects

R-Chop-6 cycles. I had one treatment of Treanda and Rituxan before my second biopsy confirmed the presence of b-cell lymphoma, then it changed to 6 cycles of R-Chop. Started treatment in June and ended Oct. 27, 2011. Now receiving 2 years or Rituxan every other month.
Side effects were fatigue, nausea, change in taste , diarrhea, bloating and weight gain from prednisone..anxiety..immune suppression that lead to infections towards the end-staph infection in my face and uti-had to reduce the days I was working due to the immunesuppression.

Immune Therapy Description, Dates & Side Effects

Received Neulasta after each chemo treatment..bone pain and fatigue.

Comments:

Eileen, I tried to look you up but there were so many Eileen Rogers. Here is my FB: http://www.facebook.com/fansofartbyjulia.ruanesmith

Posted on May 8, 2012 at 2:14:06 PM by Private User

Thanks for the support :) Glad you found me. I love the way you write. Good reading. I am like you in that I didn’t want to know all the details, just fix me.
I will be reading your posts…
xoxo

Posted on April 11, 2012 at 12:45:23 PM by Debbie

I looked for your facebook page but couldn’t find it. Would you print the addie here?

Posted on April 6, 2012 at 6:48:41 AM by Private User

Hey Eileen,
I’m happy to hear that you’re able to keep your head on straight with things. I know it’s hard to do. I’m doing pretty good this time around – I’m back on chemo again and I keep going up and down. One day I feel on top of the world and like this is just a weird trial of my life to get through. Then other days come and I just can’t seem to stop crying or wondering why – which is completely pointless, I know – just hard not to do. I’m really lucky because I have an amazing boyfriend who is right here with me through everything and my family is fantastic…but I still get my days. I’ve found that Big Red and Juicy Fruit gum seem to help a little with the metal mouth as do ice pops! I’m sending love, hugs, and healthy thoughts your way! Thanks for being so supportive and just know that I’m here as well if you need anything! Love you and praying for you ♥

Posted on March 29, 2012 at 9:58:48 AM by Private User

Thanks so much for answering so quickly! I’m going to try that and see if that helps any. The bone pain I get from Neulasta is just absolutely miserable sometimes! How are you doing? Hope all is going well for you! :)

Posted on March 28, 2012 at 8:44:20 AM by Private User

Hi Eileen, thank you so much for the support! I really appreciate it and sending tons of support back! :D Was reading down through your profile and am wondering how you’re doing with your Neulasta??

Posted on March 26, 2012 at 7:09:53 PM by Private User