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Biography

When I moved to Southern California, I was lucky enough to be referred to a doctor with a small family practice. Being young and healthy I was never very motivated to see a doctor, but the office was persistent – they never let me go more than a year without coming in for my yearly exam. After 5 problem free years, I got a call from the doctor explaining that my PAP returned abnormal results. She tried to explain HPV, its link to cancer, and procedures like the colposcopy and cone biopsy, but I never got passed the “C” word. For the week that it took to get back into her office for the procedure, I was a wreck. I suffered in silence until the appointment, during which I tried my best to understand what she was telling me about cells, stages, and such. To my dismay, I left feeling even worse – in a state of sick suspension until the tests came back. Once my husband (to-be) found out how confused and upset I was, he called and demanded answers that we could understand. I was still scared, but better informed, and the days went a little easier. The tests came back negative, and other than going in for a PAP twice over the next year, I never really looked back.

A few years later, I received a call from my doctor’s office saying that I had another abnormal PAP and that the doctor wanted to see me. I wasn’t worried this time – I’d been through this before and assumed that she just didn’t want to upset me. In her office, I expected her to say that we’d do another biopsy, or something similar. Instead, I was utterly shocked when she told me that they had actually found cancerous cells and that I would need to see a specialist. She couldn’t give me any answers – the lab had found the cells but couldn’t say where they were coming from. My uterus? Ovaries? Cervix?

We had so many questions. My husband and I were scheduled to leave for vacation in only days, and no one could get me in before we left. We decided to go – but spent our anniversary under a cloud of incredible uncertainty. Was this a result of the HPV? Had it been missed for the last 5 years? How bad was it? Could I have done something to prevent it?

Upon our return we were caught up in a whirlwind of doctor’s appointments and tests, and by late October I was recovering from my hysterectomy. From my very first appointment with my oncologist, and every appointment thereafter, the uncertainty started to diminish. Every ounce of knowledge made such a huge difference in the way we were able to cope and survive. My only wish is that I had been given some of that insight much sooner in the process. There is too much mystery, and far too much heartbreak surrounding such a treatable, and sometimes preventable disease.

Regardless of how well everything has gone, I still have a fear that the cancer will return. I don’t know that I’ll ever get passed that, but every bit of knowledge helps me to understand where I’ve been and what might lie ahead.

In addition, the more I learn and live this experience, the more passion I have behind telling people my story and educating them about HPV. I was young, active, healthy, and symptom free. The people in my life were shocked to hear that I had cancer. And the crazy thing is that if they hadn’t have found it when they did, the outcome could have been so much worse! It makes me concerned for my friends’ young daughters; angry that I didn’t know what questions to ask when I had my first abnormal PAP; and saddened when a health professional admits to me that she hasn’t had a PAP in five years.

At the beginning of my treatment, I was reluctant to tell people what I had or even to say the words “HPV”, “cervical”, or “hysterectomy”. It didn’t seem appropriate, and I may have even been a little embarrassed. But as time went by, I was surprised by how many people wanted to ask questions and know more. Several of my girlfriends asked me what they should be asking their doctors. Some had similar experiences to my first encounter, and wanted to know if they should be worried. I began to realize two things during this time: while the sharing was helpful and part of my healing process, it was also overwhelming when I was searching for a lot of the answers myself; and incredibly, it seemed like it opened a door for them – that it made it okay for them to talk about their concerns.

My experience has convinced me that more can and should be done to educate women about HPV and cervical cancer, and I would like to be a part of that effort.

Surgery Description, Dates & Side Effects

Radical Hysterectomy
Nerve damage in abdomen, left leg