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Biography

I’ve thought long and hard about posting anything about my cancer. I’m totally at fault for where I am now. It’s actually humiliating that a grown woman would do what I didn’t do.

I was one of those people who put it off and put it off. First, I didn’t do regular self-exams. Then, I didn’t get mammograms. Then, I ignored symptoms and pain. I actually became an emergency case coming in through the hospital emergency room with a bleeding breast tumor.

Most of my life I worried about breast cancer being what would take my life. But I was so scared of, it that I did nothing proactive. And now I have the self-fulfilling prophesy for myself and my husband.

When I look at the chat rooms for breast cancer patients and see the many, many people that are stage 0 or 1, how I envy them and wish that it could be me that was looking at a future.

Despite feeling emotionally isolated from my medical team, I know that they are some of the very best in the cancer field. I’m in a clinical trial study so maybe I can pick up a little extra time.

The thing that I regret most is what this is doing to my husband. We have no children together. (He has a son by a previous marriage. We live hours and hours away from family. Too much is and will fall on him.

After the mastectomy at the end of August this year, I felt wonderful. Now, with chemotherapy and possibly other things going on in my body, I don’t feel well.