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BiographyInterdisciplinary artist, author and university professor. Cancer SymptomsJanury 3, 2005 – discovered an anal fissure while on vacation; went to clinic and was advised to put PrepH on it and check back with my doctor if it did not help. Fissure would not heal since that time and finally a biopsy was performed in 2009. Surgery Description, Dates & Side EffectsMarch 20, 2009 – Biopsy of fissure tissure Radiation Description, Dates & Side EffectsIMRT: May 18, 2009 to June 26, 2009 – 5 days a weekChemotherapy Description, Dates & Side Effects5FU: 5/18/09 to 5/21/09 and 6/15/09 to 6/18/09 Comments: |
butty's Cancer Blog (48)
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So, I was going to check on you last night but got sidetracked. Actually I was watching an old movie on the MGM channel and heard your song… “everybutty loves somebutty sometime…” sorry I can’t help myself sometimes.
As for your post,the first thing I shall do tomorrow is read each and every one of your blogs,thank whatever road brought me here not to find the cancer info, but to find my real self. then I will find the book you are keeping for yourself and go to a place for which I never made the time. Thank you for that.
Funny, I was born and raised in the Los Angeles area but never ventured with my parents past Culver City and Pismo Beach (age 12).
Four years ago I won a fun trip from the company for which I must have been a fabuluos manager/money-maker. There was an awards ceremony
for the fabulous ones (lol) at our hotel near the corp. office in Foster City. But the best part was day 1 when they picked us up and did the tourist thing all day. We saw all the things that make San Francisco the most beautiful, coolest city I’ve ever seen-and I’ve been in many cities in a few countries. There is something magnetic about that place to me . I could be described as a funny actress with a great imagination. I’ve been called eclectic, bazaar and avant garde.
Could there be a better place for one like me?
Had I travled before I lost my mind and settled down at age 20, I may have wound up in Northern California as either a psycologist or a starving artist!
In answer to your overwhelming invitation, I would be there in a hot minute if I had [I Dream of Jeannies] blink blink powers.
I’ve read many of the comments people leave you and have come to understand why those things were said so many times.
I’m so happy to have made the accquaintance of one person who like me, is at once funny,sarcastic,caring,struggling for elusive answers,and really smart too.
Please pardon any typos, it’s now 2:15 a.m. in Maryland and I had surgery 16 hours ago and should probably drop one of my newly acquired pain meds and retire for what is looking like another awake all-nighter.
Looking forward to more conversation. I wish I could accept the virtual invitation.
You are one of a kind.
Let’s not say “thinking of you”, but rather,”thank-you”.
xoxo,
Debbie
Hey Frank!
Just thinking about you and wondering it you’re ok.
Be well,
xoxo,
Debbie
Thank you for the sweet comment. I pick up my mom from the airport tomorrow and then surgery on thursday. yikes! I will be sure to send an update after I get out. Thank you again. ;-)
Hey Frank,
Thanks for becoming a supporter, I know that it is those here and those in my ‘real life’ that have made getting through this (Three weeks of treatment under my belt with few side effects, knock wood, as of 6/20/2010) as comfortably as I have. Hope your good health continues and I can start celebrating some healthy birthdays myself soon.
Jeff
Frank – thanks for your post…I am doing ok…not producing cortisol so they have me on hydrocortisone which has a short half life in an attempt to get my body to start making it. They seem to feel it will take several months so we shall see. I appreciate your kind words and good thoughts. I am glad to see you are doing well and all is good. That is Fantastic! My best, Ron
Hi Frank – thank you so much for your message – I appreciate it very much. So much of what you write resonates with me – it has crossed my mind more than once that we anal cancer survivors seem ‘of a type’ beyond the sharing of a diagnosis.
I hope today is a peaceful day for you. I noticed you wrote somewhere that it took a while for your energy to return – are you back up to speed yet or is it still incremental and back and forth? I teach and am in a dilemma about when I will be able to return because my teaching requires a lot of stamina – our days are 07.30 start often through to past 23.00 for 8 days in a row and I don’t have the confidence to commit . . . just in case. It is stressing me a little because I am scheduled to teach on a course at the beginning of March and I can’t decide whether to go for it (in a slightly magical thinking – it will all be ok way) or be pragmatic and withdraw. Sorry – stream of consciousness here!
Anyway, am feeling a bit cancered out today and restless to not think about it but this phase of recovery seems to involve constant thinking about it . . . I have a supporting application statement to write for a course I would like to take beginning September 2010 so am trying to focus (and then find myself on here typing away to you!).
Best wishes to you – and I look forward to knowing you more, janet
Thanks Frank for checking on me…it means more to me than you know. I am doing ok. I have my ups and downs but overall I am doing ok. I am happy to be alive and just hope that I can be here on earth for many more years. Thanks again for checking on me and being a good friend.
How are you feeling? Many prayers for your upcoming results on your Ct scan.
Take care
Nancy
Hey Frank (that’s my grandpa’s name, my dad’s name, my brother’s name, AND my nephew’s name
I feel like I already know you)
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a generous, moving comment. It was a nice lift to the spirits after a particularly rough day.
I hope you’re doing well in your own battle and remember to give those who love you, here and in person, a big hug.
Be well,
Jill
Hi Frank,
Thanks for reading and posting my blog. I feel we must all be brave enough to admit this feeling of tremendous loss….to acknowledge it exits and then from that place move forward. This journey is a long one but life keeps giving back so fully. I hope to post more tomorrow. May you remember this day that life is good and may you sleep peacfully. Much love, Nova
Thanks for your comment Frank! Let’s hope the next few months we get a bunch of good news from our fellow bloggers. Yeah 2010! Wish you the best.
Dear Frank—
Your very sweet and kind words have brought tears to my eyes. I don’t know what to say except thank you for reminding me why I stay with this blog. Sometimes I think I should just remain in the shadows, as there will be many more who can give the same support and encouragement. But I haven’t reached that point yet. Like my husband tells me, “I always have something to say.” (I don’t think he always means it in a nice way, though—hehe!). Thank you for always making me feel like I belong here, amongst friends like you who have come to have such meaning in my life. I think the best thing all of us can do it beat our cancer. The second best thing is to share our experience with others so that their journey is made easier. Thank you for doing just that time and time again! I love you dearly and hold a special place in my heart for you! I’m sending out prayers for you, asking for great results on the upcoming scan!
Love—
Martha
Frank—
I always love hearing from you and thank you for your most recent comments. I just adore you and your spirit and zest for life, and I’m really happy to hear that your holidays were so very special. I will certainly be thinking of you in the coming days as your CT scan approaches. If you are like me, there are a few jitters, but I am confident that both of us are going to get good news on these scans! As for us being about the same age, we are both very fortunate to have grown up in the 50’s and 60’s. What great decades those were—a much more innocent time, when life was very uncomplicated. However, we are holding our own and have the chance to make this new decade our best yet! I feel so blessed to have met you, despite the circumstances that brought us together. You are one in a million—make that billion! Speaking of big numbers, I think my medical bills have now reached almost $500,000, making mine a half-million dollar booty! I’m thinking of having it monogrammed or perhaps silver-plated (can’t afford gold due to the high price of it right now!). I think of you often, Frank, and I will certainly be keeping you in my prayers for good results on your scan. Please let me know what you find out. Hello to Todd and love to you both!
Martha
Hi Frank,
I’m not sure if I am replying back in the correct comment box. I am still not very good at blogging but I am trying. We are actually going to Stanford to see Dr.Fisher. Stanfords has some great doctors and nurses just like most big hospitals. I we are in your neighborhood.:-) Do you got UCSF?
Take Care!
P.S. I love your photos
Tammy
Hi Frank!
Thank you so much for your kind words regarding my tumble. It was so nice to hear from you and you always say the nicest things! I hope you are doing well and I was glad to read that you are working on your Christmas cards and decorating. That’s the spirit! I hope you are finding that life resumes after this ordeal we’ve been through. It may take awhile, but with each day that passes, we move farther and farther away from those bad days, never to look back. I want to wish you and Todd the happiest of holidays and may 2010 be a year full of good health and much happiness for you both! Love you guys!
Hugs—
Martha
Hi Frank,
Thank you for the comment on my blog. Yes is was wonderful news knowing the lump was nothing. I am still waiting for my repeat PET scan in January to see if the treatment worked for my anal cancer. The waiting and the worry is not fun. But I know the Lord will get me through it. Hope you are feeling well. Merry Christmas to you and your family!!
Love and Hugs,
Eva
Hi Frank,
Thanks for the wonderful comments on my blog. Yes you did make sense a lot of sense. It is very scarey for me right now and especially since I have another biopsy test coming up on Dec. 11th. I always get really nervous with every follow up appt. I am happy that you are still here with us too. We are all too good of people for this beast to get us. Take care and keep in touch.
Your virtual friend
Nancy
Thanks for your kind words Frank.. I guess I have some kidney damage from the chemo and it’s something I have to learn to live with. Cancer sucks like you know.. Rict
Frank—
How sweet of you to put all those nice comments on my blog. You are too kind, but I appreciate that so very much! I hope you are doing well and that you are getting stronger every day. I think of you often and those thoughts are filled with much hope that you are doing well and enjoying life to the fullest.
You asked a couple of questions, which I will try to answer.
1) NED stands for “No Evidence of Disease.” This phrase is often used by radiologists when reading scans on cancer patients. Trust me, every cancer patient wants to meet “NED” and if you see this on your scan results, you need to plan a party! :)
2) PET vs. CT scans. Dr. Mac, my nextdoor neighbor/radiologist/personal healthcare consultant :) says that PET’s are much more sensitive to anything of concern. Often times, things picked up on PET scans are not so obvious on CT’s, such as involved lymph nodes. The PET is just much more sensitive, however, also much more expensive. This is why some insurance companies balk at approving PET scans on a regular basis, and why Canada does not do them at all, unless there are dire circumstances. If your doctor orders a PET scan and your ins. co. will not approve it, push for it anyway! Sometimes PET and CT are done in concert with one another, as is the case with my next follow-up scan in January.
Please tell Todd that I appreciate him so very much for taking such good care of my friend! I’m so glad he also reads the blogs and is so involved in your cancer journey. What a great partner and supporter! Please give him a big hug for me! If I ever get back to the SF area, I would love to meet both of you!
Frank, please take good care of yourself. Cancer has had it’s reign over you for awhile, but no more—take the power back, live your life and love every moment! It is impossible to not think about it, as this journey seems perpetual, at least for several years. But you are in charge now and you do not have to think of it 24/7! I hope you get to meet “NED” real soon and don’t forget, one of your biggest supporters is a little gal in Georgia who thinks you are the best! I will look forward to hearing from you again. Until then take care. I send love and hugs to you and Todd.
Martha
My Dearest Frank—
How sweet of you to say all those lovely things to me—it touches my heart so very much! I hope you are doing well, getting stronger every day, and enjoying all life has to offer. I think about you often and that always puts hope in my heart that you are progressing with your recovery.
As for your questions—
1) NED stands for “No Evidence of Disease.” Trust me, all of us with cancer hope to meet NED! This phrase is used quite frequently by radiologists reading scans of cancer patients. If you see this on your scan, you need to plan a party! :)
2) PET scans vs. CT scans. According to Dr. Mac, my nextdoor neighbor the radiologist (and my personal healthcare consultant! :)) PET scans are preferred over CT scans, as PET is much more able to pick up everything and anything that may look questionable. In other words, things can be missed on CT’s but quite obvious on PET’s of the same patient, same body region. Sometimes the two are done in concert with each other, as will be the case on my next follow-up. Unfortunately, some insurance companies will not pre-approve the use of PET’s for each follow-up, as they are much more costly than the CT. However, if your doctor orders one and it is not approved, push to get it approved if at all possible! PET’s are not used in Canada for this very reason—cost.
How nice of Todd to also be keeping up with the posts here at BFAC! It is wonderful that you have a partner who is totally involved in your journey and is your biggest supporter. Please tell him I said “thank you” for taking such good care of my friend and give him a big hug for me! If I ever get back out to the SF area, I would love to meet both of you!
Frank, I wish you the very best with your continued journey. As we both know, it is perpetual, at least for a few years. But now that you have the worst over with, do not let it take any more from you—you have given enough! It is your time to live, love and be loved. Enjoy every moment and know that a little gal in Georgia is one of your biggest cheerleaders! I hope you get to meet NED real soon! Take care and keep me posted on how you are doing. I will enjoy hearing from you any time! Love and hugs to you and Todd—
Martha
Hey Frank!—
It’s just me wishing you a good weekend and letting you know that I was thinking of you. Hope you are doing well and getting stronger with each day. You remain in my thoughts and prayers!
Hugs—
Martha
Hi Frank!
Hope you are doing well and enjoying a nice weekend. I just wanted to let you know that I still think of you and continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hope your recovery still continues to go well and that you see improvements with every day. I’m sure you are enjoying that beautiful view and garden and I hope your supporters continue to lift you up. Give us an update when you can. Take care.
Love—
Martha
Hi Frank,
I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are feeling? Haven’t seen any posts from you lately so I thought I would check in. Let me know how you are please.
Nancy
Dearest Frank—
I was just thinking about you and wondering how things were going, so here I am—asking for an update when you get time! I hope you are doing well and that each day brings with it steady improvements—no matter how large or small, I’m sure you appreciate every step forward. Hope your team is still checking in on you and taking care of your needs. If I was there, I’d join! Take care and let me know how things are going. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Love—Martha
Patience. You hit the nail on the head,,,along with gratitude…without them I am sure my recovery would be unbearable.
i have been having some luck with the cramping by taking imodium (i take 2) before any type of eating if it is more than a piece of fruit. i avoid full meals, of course, but even 1/2 meal requires some medical intervention.
I have had a lot of other surgeries since my colon surgery 8/06 so it has been a while for me to adjust.
And as i am sure you know by now, it is like everyone says a ‘new normal’ ...peppermint tea sometimes helps also. blessings
Frank—
Once again, you have said the most beautiful things on my blog. I cried when I read them. I am so glad that you are deciding to live life to the fullest, as we all should. You are such a special person to me and I have learned much from reading your blogs. I’m a rather simple person, with simple thoughts, spoken with simple words, and I am just in awe of how beautifully spoken you are. I admire you so much in how you have endured everything in the past few months and I know that you are going to get through this. I’m so blessed to know you! We are all faced with doubtful times in this journey, which is to be expected, but we can not dwell, as there is too much life to be lived! I guess one reason I keep running and cycling is so that I can stay ahead of that little black cloud! May we both see many, many sunny days ahead! Much love to you—
Martha
Frank,
Thank you for your support and encouragement. Know that I will be praying for you also.
God Bless,
Eva
Frank,
Thank you for the comment and words of encouragement. I will be praying for you along with everyone else
God Bless,
Eva
Frank
Thanks for the dining recommendations in Marin. My friend lives in GreenBrae and I’ll send your suggestions on to her. I’m hoping for good weather in November but actually fog and rain really sound exotic and fun!
Hope you are doing better every day.
Teresa
Frank—
Here’s wishing you a beautiful sunrise and sunset today, with every hour in between filled with peace and healing.
Love—Martha
Frank—
Thank you so much for your sweet comments on my blog—you are so kind to say all those nice things to me! I have come to think of you as a friend, as we can so relate to each other’s journey through cancer. I am so glad you received your last radiation tx, even if you had to get there by ambulance. It sounds like that was a real adventure for you! I’ve never ridden in one, and I’ll just take your word for it that it was pretty cool inside and having traffic pull over for you was exhilerating! You now are in the healing phase and I wish you a quick recovery just like mine. It just amazed me how fast things returned to pain-free (I hesitate to use the word normal, as there is a “new” normal now). I know my life has changed in so many ways since June 2008. I am not complaining about anything these days, and I certainly don’t let the little things bother me anymore. My house isn’t as clean as it used to be, my laundry piles up a little higher, and I have a few more weeds in my yard. But those things are trivial and I quit being so obsessive with having to have everything perfect. Instead, I choose to focus on doing all the things I love, such as running and weight lifting, going out for dinner, visiting with friends and going for Sunday drives in our classic car. Those are the things that make me happy and I’m very into happiness these days, and less into trying to be perfect. I know from reading your posts that you are already the type of person who knows what is important in life and I know you will soon be enjoying all the things that mean the most to you. I’m so glad you have such a great circle of friends to support you. Even though the chemo/rad is over, you will find times when their support is still necessary, as the journey continues. Warrior mode is easy, as we get so damned determined to slay the dragon. However, follow-up mode is quite another story. I find it very difficult to go from scan to scan or follow-up to follow-up without worrying about all the what-ifs. I hope you know that I will still be here for you, should you feel the need for support post-treatment from someone who can totally relate.
I will certainly be thinking of you on Saturday, as I do those 6.2 miles. This race is very important to me, as I did not get to do it last year due to my cancer. I have something to prove to myself and I also want do it to honor everyone going through this awful disease. Your name is on the jersey, along with many others. I’ll give it all I’ve got, and if you feel a little fatigued later that day, it’s because you helped me get up “heart attach hill” (yes, there is a hill they refer to by that name on the route—luckily it’s right in front of a hospital!) :) Take care, my good friend. Get some rest, have Todd do those things for you that you are still not up to doing, and for goodness sake, stay out of the emergency room! Here’s wishing you a great holiday weekend and improvement with each passing day!
Healing hugs—
Martha
Frank—
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today. You are only one step away from crossing that finish line and there’s nothing stopping you now! I hope you have had a restful weekend, gotten some much deserved TLC, and are looking forward to the beginning of the healing process.
I will be thinking of your post where you describe all the analysis you’ve done on going to the bathroom, as in 10 minutes, I begin my prep for a colonoscopy tomorrow! :) I’ve told my husband to take any and all phone calls and to keep the path clear to the potty! I just have to laugh about this or I’d cry!
Take good care, enjoy your upcoming freedom from radiation therapy, and happy healing! Thank you for all the support you’ve given me—you truly are a “butty.”
Martha
Hi Frank thanks for commenting on my blog. I have been reading yours also. Yes we are very close in the kind and treatment of our cancer. I want to comment on your last blog about getting chills. I got chills on and off throughout my treatments and never had a fever. My oncologist told me that I only had to worry if my temp. went up to 101 or more. Also, many foods, or should I say almost everything I ate made my stomach cramp and I spent lots of time in the bathroom (which really sucks). I lost a lot of weight. Now that I am done with treatments I am focusing on gaining weight and this will probably not be an easy task for me. I hope that your stomach does not play havoc with you like mine did. If there are any questions I can answer for you please let me know.
I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts
Take Care
Nancy
Frank—
Thanks so much for your kind words. I appreciate your support so very much. I’m sure all will come out all right, but these are still anxious times. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who gets a little case of the jitters with upcoming appts. I will try the breathing that you mentioned—if it works for you, it will probably help me too! I hope you are doing well and are enjoying a nice Sunday. I just returned from a 14-mile bike ride—something I thought I’d never be able to do again 9 or so months ago! My shortness of breath and chest tightness have not presented today, so maybe I’m past that.
Take care, Frank, and thanks for all your support!
Martha
Hey and Howdy Frank:
I sent you a PEM about the PAW (plasma activated water) they are testing now. You might be interested.
Peace Out and I Pray that you are experiencing many exciting energies of strength and healing,
Trey
Although it has been awhile since we have seen one another you are never far from my thoughts. Simply having you enter my mind has a way of making me smile and I reminisce fondly at the times we had at MSP. My heart wants to express more then words can truly define but I will try. You reached for the stars then and you continue to do so today. Your vision, beliefs and passions set you apart from anyone I have ever known. I have always admired your genuine sensitivity & compassion for others. And now it is time for me to remind you how much I care and love you – I do not do it enough. Many blessings for a speedy recovery. I love you Frank. BIG HUGS from Amelia and I.
Hi Frank, Jim and I want to wish you all the best and we send positive energy to you to use in your treatment and recovery. XXOO
Frank What a good idea you have to post this blog. I have wondered how things are going with you. I am sure you will get through this. I hope you will continue to update us
Lots of love.
Tania
Frank,
Thank you for your email. I am so happy you have posted this blog. I know you will get through this journey! I think of you often as I enjoy looking at my art work daily, my uncle as you know loved your art pieces and his passing till this day is difficult for me. I am a supporter of cancer fundraising as I volunteer yearly for events held in the City. Will keep in touch.
David
thank you for taking time to comfort me. I did love so much your thoughts on relationships.
BARB (05mama)
Frank—
Your recent post to me touched my heart. Thank you for all your kind words—you have no idea how much it means to me. I am committed to helping you and others get through this journey with anal cancer—I really appreciate knowing that in some small way, I may be succeeding. You are so sweet!
I have been gone the past week and thought of you often, as I know your treatment began last Monday. I hope that so far, so good for you, and that you have lots of supporters to rally around you. You will continue to be in my daily thoughts and prayers. I know you can get through this! Take care.
Martha
Hey Frank! It’s good to see you blogging. I may open my own, too. I had no idea there was anything like this. It’s a good idea. My best to you.
Frank, You are so amazing….I feel your courage and strength in going through this time of your life. Love that we can communicate and share what with you here on this beautiful site.
Know I am here for you. I keep envisioning a new shininy hiny.
Keep it positive…..it wont’ be long til it is over.
Love you sooooo much!
Frank – Don’t forget to send me your mailing address. Can’t wait to hear what you think of the book. jill @ blogforacure . com
Frank—
Thanks so much for your kind words—it’s so good to hear from you. I have thought of you many times and have wondered how things are going. I hope you have been able to get the appts. moved up and are getting closer to the day when treatment begins. I hope you will continue to update us as things progress. Take care and thanks again for taking the time to read my post.
Martha